Take the Pressure Off

If your child is struggling with school, I can guarantee that both you and your child are feeling a lot of pressure from many sources; yourself, your child, parents or even grandparents, peers, teachers, etc.. The pressure is often well-meant, and can be directly stated or more subtly implied. Pressure and confusion as to why are seemingly simple things so hard. Pressure that you need to be a better parent. Pressure to spend more time working on academics. Pressure for them to try harder, catch up, just concentrate. Your child feeling the internal pressure and fear that maybe they are stupid. All of these thoughts and feelings bring any chance of learning to a screeching halt.

If a child is struggling to learn, then something is missing in either the learning environment or the way the material is being taught.

The first, and most important, thing you can do for a struggling learner is to let them know that you are on their side, and you will work together to figure out what is missing. Just knowing they are not alone in their struggle is a huge boost for a child. Help them to take a deep breath and step back so you can put things into perspective. I have had many, many conversations with my kids over the years and probably the most common phrase I kept repeating was this . . . “There is nothing wrong with how you think. The problem isn’t you. The problem is with how I’m teaching you. I need to figure out different ways of teaching this material, and your job is to pay attention to how you learn and help me understand which methods work, and which ones don’t.”

I am a firm believer that knowledge is power. Many parents shy away from “labeling” their child as dyslexic, and often don’t want their child to know that they are dyslexic. There are many reasons for this, ranging from not wanting their child to use it as a crutch or excuse, to not wanting teachers to pigeon-hole their child or be treated differently in the classroom. However, dyslexia experts overwhelmingly agree that telling your child they are dyslexic, and explaining what that means, is key to being able to help them to move forward and overcome their challenges.

A dyslexic child should know they’re dyslexic and they should know what dyslexia is, and that is almost the most powerful thing that we can give them is that knowledge.

Hart Stuck, teacher The Schenck School, Atlanta GA
Made by Dyslexia Teacher Training, Part 1: Module 5

This is one of the reasons why it is so important to educate yourself first about dyslexia. You now have the knowledge you need to be able to talk to your child about dyslexia, and how it affects their learning. You are also able to confidently reassure them they are not stupid, lazy or any other negative label they have associated with themselves. They think differently, and they think in a way that doesn’t always match how material is taught in school. They are also not alone in their struggles! The average class of 25 students will have approximately 5 dyslexic learners. Lots of people are dyslexic!

If you and your child are able to look on dyslexia as some type of characteristic about themselves, like being right or left handed, then you will both begin to come out from underneath all that pressure. Once the pressure is lifted, it is much easier to look for ways to work with dyslexic thinking and be able to advocate for and with your child in their classroom.

Look for other posts in this series:

1. Now What?
2. Educate Yourself
3. Take the Pressure Off
4. Reading: A World of Adventure
5. Goals: Essential Roadmap
6. Get the Right Kind of Support
7. Persevere: Good Days and Bad
8. Nothing is Permanent Except Change
9. Encourage! Encourage! Encourage!

Photo by Pedro Figueras from Pexels