Get the Right Kind of Support

Getting help is the step we all want to immediately jump into when we find that our child is struggling. We want to fix it. Do something. We are all instinctive problem solvers, particularly when it comes to our kids struggling with school. However, without the previous steps of learning about dyslexia, taking the pressure off your child, making reading fun, and setting goals, you may be jumping into a solution that:
a) isn’t a good fit for your child in some way
b) may not give you the results you want
c) your child resists, creating further barriers to learning
d) is more expensive than is reasonable for your situation

There are a wide range of options for supporting someone with dyslexia. Which option is right for your child will depend on your goals, how severely your child is impacted by dyslexia, how much time is realistic for you and your child to spend on developing these skills, and how much is reasonable for you to spend.

There are some things you need to do with your child every day, regardless of what type of support you choose.

Spending time reading with them every day is critical to help them improve their reading skills. It doesn’t need to be a long intense session, but 10 minutes a day will go a long way to improving reading. Keep the session fun, friendly, and always have some type of reward at the end, whether it is having a hot chocolate or iced tea together, or going outside and shooting hoops or taking slap shots for 10 minutes. You don’t have to be good at sports to give it a try. What matters is that your child has your full attention doing something that they enjoy.

Keep in mind that you want to improve a child’s reading skills to above their current grade level.

They will develop their reading skills at a slower pace than other students. If you bring them up to reading at grade level, they will continue to develop their reading skills but at a slower pace than non-dyslexic students, and will eventually end up falling behind again feeling like they are constantly playing catch up. If you bring them up to above grade level and provide an occasional boost to keep them at or above grade level, then they will have the experience of feeling ahead of the class and not having to play catch up.

That confidence boost of feeling ahead and not behind is essential!

Here are some different options to consider when looking to support your child with dyslexia, along with pros and cons for each. There is no perfect solution, and you may find that different solutions are best at different times. Always refer back to your overall goals when considering how to move forward. Remember that when you are dealing with dyslexia nothing is a quick fix. You need to be prepared to provide extra support to your child for anywhere from about a year to many years, depending on their age when they start getting help (younger is better), how severely they are impacted by dyslexia, and whether or not they have additional challenges like dyscalculia (difficulty with math) or dysgraphia (difficulty with writing).

Teach or Tutor Them Yourself

This option can have significant appeal to some parents and students. It is often the most cost effective and flexible of all the options. It can also be very beneficial for a child who is embarrassed or anxious about their challenges and doesn’t want others to know about their struggles. However, it has significant drawbacks as well. Be forewarned that kids tend to be much less responsive to a parent helping them than someone else, particularly when they are struggling. Full time homeschooling changes that dynamic to some degree as they are more used to working with a parent on all subjects and not just the difficult ones. That being said, it is always a challenge to work with your own child when they are struggling.

Tutoring or teaching your own child can, and usually does at some point, put a strain on your relationship with your child and even other family members.

As a parent and a teacher it can be very difficult to not take your child’s frustrations personally. They are going to get frustrated. They will not want to do some of the work. It will be difficult for them at times and they are going to struggle. You have to be able to emotionally separate yourself from their emotional swings, otherwise you will be too lenient and not encourage them to do the work that needs to get done, or too strict and create unnecessary barriers to learning.

You will also have to put yourself in the mode of continual learning to make sure you have a variety of techniques, options, and curricula to draw on so you can find the best fit for your child.

This is one of the reasons why this method worked well for me. I loved the continual learning and finding new ways of teaching information.

Hire a Tutor

The most important consideration in hiring a tutor is to make sure that the tutor understands how to work with dyslexia because it makes a big difference in what teaching methods are effective and ineffective. Make sure that you and your child are a good fit with the tutor from the perspective of personality and learning styles as well. It is important that your child connects with the tutor and is willing to work with them. In this current age of Covid, remote tutoring can work well for older children who are technically able to navigate around their computer and maintain their focus independently. Younger children will do better with in-person tutoring when possible, or with an adult to sit with them during tutoring sessions to handle the technology and more importantly to make sure they stay focused on their work. A tutor can only do so much with younger students remotely to maintain focus and interest. Depending on your financial situation, I recommend tutoring 2 – 3 times a week.

Regular, structured practice is necessary to make sure that skills are not lost from week to week.

Once a week can work if both the parent and child are willing to commit to some daily review in order to maintain and build skill strength. Many parents think of tutoring for their child only during the school year, but tremendous progress can be made in the summer months especially if they are tutored more frequently to help them catch up and/or prepare ahead for the new school year.

Software Programs

Another good option is using software designed to teach a child to read. There are many programs available that teach reading, but again, it will be much more effective if it is specifically designed to support a person with dyslexia. These programs must be used consistently and according to the recommended program schedule in order to be effective. It can be very difficult to keep a child consistently motivated to continue working on a software program, even if the program is designed with built in games and rewards. You will need to provide external motivation (reward systems work well) to make sure they working on the program. Depending on the program, this option may be less expensive than tutoring but it also may be equally or more expensive. Look for a program that comes with support to help you and your child if they struggle with a particular skill. Also look for a program that will provide you with regular reports and information on how they are progressing so it is easy to identify if they hit a barrier and will provide support in overcoming that barrier.

Educational Therapy

Educational therapy comes in many different forms and methods depending on the underlying philosophy, but the goal is the same: to improve underlying mental processes and retrain the brain to function more efficiently and effectively. Educational therapy takes time to see concrete results (months to years) and is generally more expensive than other options. For some forms of educational therapy, you can be trained yourself as an educational therapist and then work directly with your child, which can potentially be a more cost effective method, but there still can be significant costs for the training you will require. The above caveats about working with your child yourself still apply. They will not generally work as well with you as they will with an independent therapist. It is not impossible, but there can be additional challenges.

Please be aware, educational therapy will not necessarily improve your child’s reading or other skills, at least in the short term. The focus is on building the mental skills necessary for effective reading, but not necessarily on applying them.

Your child will probably naturally begin to apply these new skills as they become integrated in the brain, but it can take many months before they see any changes, which can make motivation difficult. I do not intend to cast any doubt on the value of educational therapy, our family found it very effective for specific skill development, but it is important to have a clear understanding of what it will and will not do for your child.

Make sure to talk to people who have used these products and services. Find out what worked well, what didn’t work well, and why.

I’m sure some of you are disappointed that I haven’t named any specific products or therapies. I am familiar with the ones we have used, but I haven’t researched other options beyond my own personal research. I don’t feel that I am qualified to provide an unbiased comprehensive list or comparison of all the different products and services available. Once you start searching, you will find that information.

Keep referring back to your goals to make sure that what you choose will fit both your child’s and your family’s needs. Then just start. Have a realistic timeline to look for improvements (4 – 6 months at an absolute minimum). If something isn’t working, then don’t be afraid to try something else, provided that you have given the first option long enough to actually see some changes.

Overcoming the challenges of dyslexia is a balance between sticking with something to give it time to work, and knowing when to change gears when something isn’t working.

For more posts in this series:

1. Now What?
2. Educate Yourself
3. Take the Pressure Off
4. Reading: A World of Adventure
5. Goals: Essential Roadmap
6. Get the Right Kind of Support
7. Persevere: Good Days and Bad
8. Nothing is Permanent Except Change
9. Encourage! Encourage! Encourage!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash