Persevere: Good Days and Bad

We all have days when things go really smoothly for no apparent reason, and other days when nothing seems to work, again for no apparent reason. Dyslexia is no different. Some days are golden . . . words come easily, reading seems so much smoother, information seems to stick easily in memory. These are wonderful days! Other days are the polar opposite, when it seems difficult to even rub two brain cells together. Those days are the point of this post.

No one minds when they have a smooth day. It just feels so easy. The challenge is to not expect this to be a regular occurrence. We so easily want to believe that this is how it should be all the time, and all those other days of struggle and frustration are an exception. Unfortunately, as much as you should cherish and enjoy those golden days, don’t forget that they are the exception rather than the rule.

Expecting every day to be easy and smooth is not realistic and will lead to a lot of additional frustration. If every day is easy and smooth, then there are no learning challenges and no need to read any further.

In our house, we have come to name those nasty days as Dyslexia Days. Some days words just won’t cooperate, “I can’t English” in my daughter’s words. It is important to do two things on ‘those’ days, 1) acknowledge it, accept that things will probably take more effort and be more challenging, and 2) keep trying anyways. You may need to try different approaches, change up some activities, shorten lessons, or other variations, but it is important to keep trying. There will always be difficult days, but if your child learns that a challenging day is a reason to not try, then it will become harder and harder to keep them motivated and working on those tough skills they need to master.

This is not intended to be a harsh ‘stop complaining and get on with things’ approach, but rather an approach of ‘I know this is tough but we’ll work through it together’.

The reality is that with dyslexia, or any other challenge, there are likely to be more tough days than easy days, particularly in the beginning. If your child doesn’t learn to keep working through the challenges, their progress will be significantly slower and they are far more likely to be discouraged by the lack of progress over time. One of the reasons why a higher percentage of entrepreneurs have dyslexia, besides their unique perspective, problem solving abilities, and creativity, is that they have learned how to keep going through setbacks and challenges.

The only way to develop this skill is to face setbacks and challenges, and then keep going, don’t stop trying. This is pretty much a typical school day for most with dyslexia.

Some people naturally have the ability to persevere through challenges, but many others need encouragement and support in order to keep going through setbacks. It is incredibly important that a child with dyslexia feels that you are on their side, encouraging them and cheering them on. They may also need a compassionate shoulder to cry on from time to time. As I often told (and tell) my own kids, it’s okay to be frustrated and upset, it’s okay to be mad, it’s okay to cry. Get it out of your system and you’ll feel better. Once you’ve vented your emotions, let’s figure out a plan for what’s next and try again. Sometimes you try again the same day, sometimes you need to wait until the next day, but you always try again.

As the Japanese proverb says, fall down seven times, stand up eight.

For more posts in this series:

1. Now What?
2. Educate Yourself
3. Take the Pressure Off
4. Reading: A World of Adventure
5. Goals: Essential Roadmap
6. Get the Right Kind of Support
7. Persevere: Good Days and Bad
8. Nothing is Permanent Except Change
9. Encourage! Encourage! Encourage!

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